As her pastor, I observed Terri coping with missing her children and grandchildren and her strong maternal yearning to have her family around her, especially during this past holiday season.  For so many, the holidays are an especially hard time emotionally.  This has been an especially difficult holiday season for Terri and I very much admired the way she is learning and has learned to apply God’s principles to cope with the difficult times in her life.  Because so many experience similar “Holiday Blues,” I asked Terri to write the following article so that what she has learned about coping with these strong maternal emotions, might be a blessing to others who may be traversing the same stretch of road.  I hope this will bless you as it has me.

R.S.Brewer, Pastor 

Missing Family

  By T. Smith

As a child, the holidays were always very special to me.  My grandparents came to stay with us a few days before.  Grandma cooked and baked and everything smelled so "homey" and comforting. Christmas morning we would wake up early and crawl in bed with Grandma and Grandpa-they slept on the sofa bed. Grandma tried to keep us quiet for a while so our parents could sleep in a bit. That was an impossible task since there were five of us!

 As the mother of four, I tried to make nice memories for my children as they were growing up. They are now 31, 27, 23 and 16. My oldest son and oldest daughter live in Georgia. And are raising our three grandchildren. Our younger son moved back to New York after finishing his education in Georgia. Three years ago, my husband and I and our 16 year old left Georgia. to live in Arizona. The most difficult part of that move has been the holidays. Missing our children and grandchildren causes the tears to flow quite often these days. I wish so much to be able to watch them open their gifts on Christmas morning and hear those sweet little voices full of excitement. I envision laughing and joking with my daughter and daughter in law as we work side by side in the kitchen. It would be wonderful to hear my husband, my sons and my son in law as they yell over a football game or whatever men watch on TV. Because of the miles between us, that has not happened for three years. Coping with my emotions has been a challenge at times, more so this year for some reason. To combat the "blues" I think about all the ways we are blessed. Our children are happy and healthy and the grandchildren are doing well also. We are able to speak to them on the phone and hear those sweet little voices. I have a couple friends who cannot do that because their children have gone to be with the Lord. 

  We are blessed with a church family like no other. We are truly family! Our friends may not realize it, but they are one of my best "coping aids". Spending time with them and sharing in the celebration of our Savior’s birth helps me keep my emotions at bay. Frequently, I think of the song many of us learned as children, “Jesus Loves Me.” I know without a doubt he loves us and understands that a mother will be sad when she can't be with those she loves. The verses from another song come to mind, “This World is Not My Home, I'm just a passing through…” One day, all my loved ones will be with me everyday and I won't cry because they are leaving. The Lord has blessed us with a wonderful family, biological and church. I must praise Him for that and try not to dwell on the emotional aspects.  

  One day, hopefully soon, I will feel those little arms around my neck again and hear that precious sweet voice-"Love you, Nommie". Yes, the tears are flowing as I write but this too shall pass. Our Father promises us an eternal home with Him where there will be no tears. We will bake, cook, hug and kiss for all our days.                           

Back